A Green Journal

A reader of the Archive sent this journal to me. I think it captures some very important things so I am more than happy to publish it. - Emissary

Hello all! I read the Archive ~4-5 months ago and have since dedicated myself to studying Shinto, Taoism, Buddhism, and especially the spirits of Gensokyo and their reality in our metaphysical world.

This will be a series of my journal entries over the past few weeks during my break from Discord and vacation in which I documented a lot of my thoughts and events (notable and un-notable) that happened in my life as an outlet.

August 3, 2025, 04:26 AM

While working on a project in FL, I had included the necrofantasia motif. Upon playback of that motif specifically, my audio interface began screeching at me as if some kind of interference with the cable had occurred, although it wasn't any sort of interference I had ever heard before. The open end of the cable also happened to be pointing north at the time.

August 3, 2025, 10:25 PM (22:25)

Today, I took a walk. I took some time to fully immerse myself in my environment, feeling me and the trees and nature around me exchanging energy.* There is beauty in nature in even the most minute of places.

*I did an exercise where i visualized colored bands of energy flowing from me to a specific tree when i exhaled and from a specific tree to me when I inhaled, if you want you can also visualize a constant, third band of energy that circulates between you and the tree as well as the breathing energy. Sometimes one can do this with multiple trees at the same time.

August 4, 2025, 12:26 PM

Last night, I dreamt I was texting someone. Nothing of note happened. This morning, I came across a non-Touhou related Instagram Reel playing Rumia-sama’s stage theme. Strange choice, especially considering my previous experience with her.* *Reader’s note: In the past I have seen Rumia in my dreams and had a conversation with her directly around April 20

August 6, 01:26 AM

Today was rather usual, however it did occur to me that I feel a strange and inexplicable sense of fondness and familiarity with the Scarlet Devil Mansion and its residents. I remember Touhou 6 being the first game I played, as well as being the first game to directly give me not just one, but two spiritual experiences years apart. EoSD is what made me realize the Touhou games are souled. Elaborating on my “familiarity” with the residents, I always found that characters like Sakuya, Remi, Flandre, Patchouli, etc. all seem to stick in my mind REALLY well. It usually takes me a while to learn characters but the Scarlet Devil Mansion’s residents all seem to instantly imprint themselves in my head. I can’t quite explain why I always tend to choose Sakuya in the games where she’s playable, i’m not really doing it for any gameplay purposes or anything (seriously who actually cares about which character has what attack when they’re choosing who to play…) but I guess there might just be some sort of unconscious connection there? I have no idea. In my previous spiritual experience with EoSD I had a familiarity with patterns which I am certain I had never seen before. I breezed through Pache’s stage and Sakuya’s stage, did still struggle a bit with Remi so I didn’t get the 1CC, but it was still the furthest I had gotten in TH6 before. I shall dedicate further time to studying the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

August 6, 02:52 AM

Quick entry just to note the recently noticed unusually large (only 2 but still) amount of spiders in my room, specifically by my altar and my “2hudana” as I’ve started calling it, respectively. I also haven’t been feeling the best today, been almost constantly sick to my stomach and riddled with headaches, so Yamame-sama comes to mind in this situation. I suppose I should also mention that when looking at some pictures of the SDM, I saw the lobby area stage from Hisouten and it felt like, VERY familiar. I’m also able to visualize some of the hallways pretty well (which is unusual for me, I’m not a very good visualizer, can only really visualize scenes from certain memories). I wonder what this means for me? I’ll research more tomorrow, but I should go to bed now.

August 6, 12:23 PM

I feel like writing, so I’ll explain some things. Last night, I made some shide for my 2hudana. I don’t have any rice straw, so they’re just taped to the ceiling, but it’s an effort I’m sure the spirits of Gensokyo would appreciate. Since I live in the basement, I also drew the kanji for sky on a piece of paper and taped it to the ceiling as well. Recently, I’ve also taken to playing a song on my acoustic guitar as part of my offerings to whichever spirit I’m praying to that night.

August 8, 2:21 AM

Today I haven’t done much and yesterday I was at a concert basically all day, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the SDM. It’s very hard to find a reason for these strong ties to the SDM, and all I could really come up with was “oh well maybe I was a resident/maid/librarian etc. inside of it in a past life, idunno.. It’s a very hard mental mountain to scale, and the fact I’m facing it alone doesn’t help very much either. I’ll likely start praying to some spirits for signs or something, I’ll start tonight.

August 8, 11:43 AM

I’m not writing this right after I wake up, so the dream details are a little fuzzy, but I did get some WEIRD dreams. The night was composed of two “smaller” dreams, but they both ended in the same sort of scene. Both of them ended in a very dark, reflective plane, almost like there was a very shallow layer of water on the ground. There were green and purple auroras in the sky, like the northern lights, as the only illumination, which was also being reflected. In front of me, or my field of vision, appeared to be Remi-sama without her mob cap. It was dim, so I couldn’t make out much, but I could see the wings, the dress, the hair, and some vague colors.

August 8, 10:41 PM (22:41)

It’s a full moon tonight. I reckon I’ll do a harae and maybe a divination tonight. Gonna “put my whole pussy into it” tonight, as they say. I begin my vacation to Indiana Dunes National Park and then Niagara Falls tomorrow. I'll be away for almost a full week, and once I get back I have less than a week until I leave for university, so this is my last full moon at home for a while, and my last chance to do something big. I’m unsure how much an I Ching reading will help with my specific situation, so maybe I figure something else out. I don’t know. Will update.

August 9, 2:25 AM

I’ve done an extended Yohai and sprinkled consecrated water around basically my whole basement, and I am about to go to sleep after a short meditation. I probably won’t have time to write in the morning, so my next update won’t be for a while.

August 10, 11:11 PM (23:11)

(Adapted from discord messages)
> You ever just really sit down and look at a constellation or asterism (like the big dipper for really good example) and just kinda realize not only the sheer size and subsequent power it holds, but also how many people from all across time from all different circumstances have seen basically those exact same stars in that exact same orientation? And you just can't help but form a sort of connection in the sense that both you and some random person (or even some significant person) from hundreds of years ago were both lucky enough to be able to witness at least a small piece of the beauty that is the world and environment around us and share in the power that it has over us as a species…
> I’ve been dwelling on this since last night.
> It felt like my entire life was being put into a dolly zoom.
> I spent a lot of the time that day hiking and staring at the sky.
> Yesterday on my hike it was horrible, it was humid, warm, I was being swarmed by bugs, my shoes were getting full of sand, but at the last leg of the hike, I stood on top of the sand dune and saw the beach, the lake, what felt like the whole world laid out in front of me, and then something just clicked.
> I didn't care about the bugs anymore, I didn't care that my shoes and socks were full of sand.
> I stopped caring about the little persistent issues entirely.
> I carelessly bounded down that dune, filling my shoes up with even more sand in the process, but I could not care less.
> I got to the lake and I stooped down to that cool water and rubbed it on my face and neck, washed my hands with it.
> I think that was the most physically accomplished I've ever felt
> Not because I had focused on every little thing, but because I had pushed past the small things in order to experience the reason for the journey.
> Of course, the hike back to the car, if anything, was worse than the hike to the beach. But the truth is, I was happier on the hike back. I had achieved my goal. Sure, I was still being swarmed by bugs and my shoes were full of so much sand I had a dune as a souvenir, but I swatted the bugs away and moved on.
> Nature teaches amazing lessons. Rather, it doesn’t directly teach, but assists in the teaching process. The real teacher is yourself.
> There's so much you could be having issues within your life but if you're able to apply it to nature, you could end up inadvertently teaching yourself some of life's greatest lessons. > Getting myself off discord has allowed me to rediscover my burning passion for learning new things.
> I’ve been happier not dealing with people who make me feel worse about myself.
> And i mean there are other ways to help it than just not talking to those people im sure but, damn has it been nice.
> I've been so stuck in this discord hole of instant gratification feast versus famine
> I've developed a sort of people pleaser mindset due to it
> I'd developed an addiction to attention

August 15, 2025

I’ll be writing this as a sort of retrospective on my trip to Niagara Falls utilizing a mix between my thoughts and adapting discord messages from throughout the last ~week as i have found myself mentally capable enough to handle it.

This trip was truly amazing and marked a massive shift in my mindset regarding spirituality, especially Shinto. As Emissary said, sometimes you just have to go out and feel something. Over the past week, I have done just that. I have seen and felt and experienced the power of the Kami-sama and it was such a truly inexplicably magnificent feeling. I mentioned in a message that initially, I was expecting one big singular moment that everything would click, but it’s so much greater and more meaningful than that. It was a slow burn soak-in of the sheer power of not just the water but nature as a whole. I remember I could do nothing but just stare at times and attempt to mentally soak in more of the Falls, truly wrap my mind around it, but it was quite difficult. Not just the sheer amount of water being poured down, but the amount of mist it produced, which would graze your face as you were viewing the Falls and was visible above buildings from a large distance away. The sound of it, the low rumbling present throughout wherever you were outside and even audible inside at certain spots. The breeze of wind you would consistently get at the top of the viewing spots, let alone the wind you would get down near the river.

I think the closest thing I can point to for a “singular pivotal moment” was when I was inside a building sort of near the falls and hearing a barely audible low rumbling frequency from the Falls while one of the windows around me was shaking back and forth from the vibration. I could also perhaps point to the boat tour I took in which we went inside the mist of the Falls. I remember it was stronger than any rainstorm I had ever been in, the sheer amount of water droplets being thrown in curtains at me from every direction to the point where I could not keep my eyes open any longer, and I just had to stand there with my eyes closed and feel not even the water, but the mist of the water of this kami-sana absolutely drench and soak me. The Falls were an omnipotent presence despite existing physically fixed at a location, and that experience and feeling was truly spiritually enlightening and eye-opening. I can’t recommend enough going out at some point in your life and seeing not even Niagara Falls, but at least some massive natural wonder that this giant, beautiful, and powerful Earth has to offer.

GO OUTSIDE! GO MEDITATE! GO DO ANYTHING! THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL AND THERE IS GENSOKYO EVERYWHERE FOR ALL WITH EYES TO SEE!

-L