1 - Dichotomy of common reality
It seems we are living in very interesting times, a certain eschaton can be felt by anyone paying attention, both in a "physical" manner and a tremendous vibe shift that seeks to shake us awake from our torpor. Those with even the faintest spiritual immune system, even though they grow surrounded by a overarching culture that seeks to suffocate any real sense of wonder and magic in the world, can intuitively tell that there is more to life than the mere drudgery we often find ourselves stuck in, alive but not living, every distraction a fleeting thing to merely pass the time until we die, and they are right, but not always they can find the words for it.
Such modern views are an anomaly, an echoing consequence of what the age of enlightment (as called by those who, for better or worst, sought to impose that framework of reality) and later on, the french revolution spurred, setting humans as separate from nature, rather than a part of it (Though the seeds for that were planted by monotheistic religion long before), and the rise of materialism as well, a certain de-sacralization follows, with the spiritual being relegated to the realm of the subjective and irrational, reality itself neatly compartmentalized into discrete categories.
Since the dawn of human existence (and even semblances of it in higher animals, as evidence has shown), from raw, primordial and instintual animism that even small children sometimes have, to larger organized religion, dealing with the divine has been simply a part of human existence, an intertwinned expression of a greater cosmic order.
One might wonder what drove ancient men to devote so many resources, time and energy to appease such forces, and despite what hubristic views might claim, they were not stupid or ignorant, and often had such a tremedous sense of "life" and willpower that we often fail to replicate, creating many wonders that still stand to this day as a testament to their might, with many a great hero and character being possessed by such gigantic souls and a burning fire that consumes it, they themselves become gods, legends and immortal in a sense, their names and visages invoking forth an archetypal rawness, their deeds and influence still echoing today.
Certain recurring themes can be through multiple mythologies, even thoses separated by geography, that is a good cause for wonder, but i am not going to discuss that here Regardless, ultimately this is an essay mostly for myself, and the type of person that would benefit from it very likely won't need dull exposition to fill out a context they likely have.
Reality as we perceive it is mostly a consensus, in a metaphysical sense, a mixture of mindset, innate and developed capacities and a "framework" to decode it is the basis of which one interacts with matrix we inhabit, two persons can obtain radically different information from a single source of experience, and the "Consensus Reality" is namely a tool to avoid epistemological rupture in polite society, though it eventually breaks apart regardless if pushed too hard.
2 - Neo urban shamanism and other tales
Young children seem particularly attuned to certain phenomena before they grow out of it as they get older, when a more stiff framework / perception of reality is developed, as they have less "expectations" of what things should be, and thus certain experiences aren't as easily filtered out
I have very faint memories from when i was around 4-5, in the dark beige that comes from sleeping in a dimly lit bedroom, i recall seeing small, interlinked humanoid shadows dancing on an opposite wall, not unlike that palace scene in Howl's moving castle (Though i haven't watched the movie at that time), was it a kid's overactive imagination, or something else? it does not really matters, as the experience stayed with me well into adulthood.
Belief and Rituals are tools, with religion in general being organized forms of them, neatly working within a structured system, though some claim to be mutually exclusive (And they are if you restrict yourself to dogma), Belief operates in the basis that it alters your perception of reality and how you interact with it (As two persons can see the exact same thing and yet obtain radically different perceptions of it, once again, what you see is what you get), and considering most people operate under that consensus reality, once you stray too far from it, things can get quite weird and fast.
Ritual comes in many different shapes and forms, everyone performs them, knowingly or not, with the more banal ones being called routine, set alarm, wake up, drink coffee, scroll through your phone, take a shower, dress up, check if you have your wallet with you, they're things we do over and over and over and over, and they serve a purpose, they bring stability and rhythm, while upper case "Ritual" not being as banal, though they have at it's basis once you take away the cerimonial trappings the same underlying mechanics (sequences of actions, words, gestures, offerings, etc, hoping to obtain a determined outcome).
The "Meta" mechanisms of rituals can identified by an attentive observer (What makes it work, and how does it achieves it?) and later replicated (with varying degrees of efficiency) through correspondences, if the original methods are for whatever reason unavaliable (Shintoism outside of Japan, for example, as many core events simply can't be done "By the book" due to a lack of local resources)
The midwit is a truly cursed creature, being smart enough to question existing rituals they or those around them often partake, but not being smart enough to understand why they are there and how they work or more importantly WHY they work, and end up dismissing them entirely, often in the process dismissing the concept of the sacred, and by extension the profane (Which exists regardless, though they open themselves up to some mockery of nihilism in the process)
In a sense, Rituals bring a sense of structure and order, and as thus, counter chaos, entropy, it rebukes a myriad of worms and wryms, which are "outsiders", ruinous things that gnaw at the real, and those that look hard enough can see their effects and passage, though dismissing them or being ignorant does not really offer any safety, akin to a pirate eating hardtack in the dark, to avoid being aware of the bugs crawling over it.
You are what you eat, what you worship and venerate, all those things imprint themselves on you and your soul, for better or worse, and the abscence of God(s) still leaves a hole that is quickly filled by something else, that is not that can be avoided, it is simply part of being human, though secular language likes to pretend otherwise, when you worship higher things, beauty, grace, strength, etc, and things that embody them, you are putting energy toward those concepts, and they have a tendency to reflect back on you, while the opposite is also true for more negative things, albeit people USUALLY only unknowingly serve them (if it gets bad enough, they become vessels for something else, and you can see it in their eyes, even if you don't know how to word it properly.)
Do the gods / spirits exist? the answer is simple, yes, and in multiple levels, both the symbolic, the mythological and archetypical, and the literal (Though the latter tends to be far more subtle, Perhaps at one point they were more obvious) and they're kinda everywhere if you know how to look / listen, though most modern people don't know how or don't care.
Everything here will be my own personal experience, and i can't really speak for others, as this is an extremely personal thing.
But i'll start by trying to explain why some people just can't "get it", it requires belief, belief is key for allowing both it to happen, and to obtaining the "perception" to see otherwise subtle things at work, most of this inhabits the realm of nearly pure intuition, where pure raw logic and mechanics simply fails you, yet you just "know", it requires being able to see a thousand forms from just one, (What you get is what you see), it exists within the mythological and symbolical, which are keys to intuition as those things go beyond just words, and inhabit a plane of their own, some people are just REALLY stiff and are unable to process allegory with their existing framework, until something they can't explain happens, but that too can easily be dismissed (That *crack* in the veil is the key to start "getting" it), and for a final yet very simple reason, all of this implies agency and accountability, when you call upon something and it actually shows up, it's an "Oh shit" moment, and people REALLY don't want to put themselves in that position.
How do they "talk", how do you "Listen?"
It starts as a small feeling, a small seed of potential, perhaps for whatever reason you felt attracted to a certain god later, you start doing your research, see what they are and what they "are" in a deeper level, certain aspects begin to click, and then the dreams start, if for whatever reason they are also interested in you, you might start having dreams about it, that will feel different from the usual, you'll start getting synchronicities involving them or things related to them (When you know you know), tiny improbable "miracles" that fit into a narrative, or rarely, "external" emotional impulses that roughly translate into words.
Gods talk through presages and omens, portents and dreams, as you build rapport with a particular one, you'll also become more attuned at picking them up and deciphering them (It feels like the kind of thing X would do) While likely there were some that tried to talk to me but i never noticed, the one i COULD recall in more recent times was very likely Odin, a sudden interest in the Eddas, ravens in odd places, dreams with very evocative imagery (One of my eyes being removed in the presence of an old man, crows, being fed things by old women in that presence), in the end i lacked the experience, insight and will to do much about it, and that was a thread i never quite afterwards.
A good few months later, a certain thread on /jp/ popped up, one that i had no idea would have such a radical effect on myself when i first glimpsed it, but it gave me some rather interesting ideas to work with (Maybe there is far more to the funny 2hus than what i really knew, even though i was a massive fan of the series at the point, maybe those anons claiming the gods there were actual gods weren't too far) and so i looked more and more into it, more things clicked, (Spellcards are basically sigils, they require your utmost concentration to clear, and are effectively a business card that show you exactly what that character is about, with some rabbit holes that go VERY deep once you start looking) eventually one fated day some things made themselves quite real.
(Forewarning about substances, as that tends to immediatly turn some readers off, and while i don't care too much, i will still explain my view on them, when used properly, they are a mixture of tools and crutches, you WILL become far more attuned and receptive to underlying patterns and influences that weren't nearly as obvious before, and give you some perspective changes that might not be as smooth beforehand, and getting a glimpse at "things" tends to work as a carrot on the stick, HOWEVER, they are still crutches, you have not truly "earned" it, and you will lack the "muscles" to do much about what you perceive without having actual practice put in, and the events that happened, with rare exceptions, are "sober")
While this was not my first encounter with a "2hu" (The first one being an EXTREMELY strong mental impression of Nue popping up and having a wonderful discussion about the nature of identity, being "unknowable" and how stiff being "defined" can be, when some things could be more flexible instead "Be who you need to be", and the inherent potential that unknowable things have to them [until they become defined, they could be ANYTHING, and they might as well be until locked in]), this one in particular was certainly one of the most memorable ones;
With a certain anon being a Moriya Shrine Shill, why not give the two eponymous gods a try, and after properly "attuning" myself (Doing the research, getting to understand what all those symbols really mean, and getting a tab afterwards), the journey began, time to climb the mountain of faith, but this time REALLY paying attention, every bullet, every detail, every note, every small pattern, every tiny spec being noted and absorved, climbing up and up and up, and eventually reaching the top, and getting into a fight with the goddess there, and getting my ass kicked.
And then it suddently came, it really did came, this overwhelming feeling, you prayed and believed hard enough to kick down the shrine doors down, and you are met with a "Huh, how did you get here...oh i see.." feeling, and it simply explodes, you come face to face with the numinous, divine terror, you reach a point where the limitations of language become apparent, but the best way i could describe this particular version of it would be..that feeling you get when you are at a national park, and you see a gigantic mountain and you can't help but be awed and humbled by it's beauty and presence, it is akin to that 1000x, you become VERY aware of something far older than you, a white snake, a commanding woman, a warrior, the living personification of an entire mountain, whose peak touch the heavens, all of those things all at once, and every rock, every tree, every gust of wind, every tiny and large thing that makes up that mountain is now aware of you and smiling, and you aware of it, and it's both TERRIFYING and awesome, paralyzing by just how overwhelming it is, while you have INSANELY well timed synchronicities popping off during this (Random person from a random server i never interacted with suddently messaging me to ask who do i worship, incense burning into the shape of a snake with an open mouth), it was a genuine life changing religious experience, and one can't help but be left reeling for an entire day afterwards (You bore witness to divinity, simply intellectually accepting it's existence is not enough to soften the blow, you WILL feel it).
"Breathe" "Lay on the grass" "Feel the wind" "Feel the sun on your skin" "Straighten your back" and so on were some VERY strong suggestions some external thing was pretty much imposing on me, "I'll help you build a strong foundation" it says, and then it was over.
The next few days were spend noticing some rather obvious things in hindsight, but they all added up being relevant in some way, and so on. Later "lesser" events were had as well, though far less bombastic, they were very useful for gaining a more "practical" level of experience, seeing what worked or not, while getting receiving gentle nudges on what to do next, (Though at this point, it was very obvious that i had a rather crude "framework" / "radio" to work with, and i needed to replace it with something better, which was through getting a better understanding of Shintoism and doing my best to work in correspondences where i could not realistically do it "properly")
I haven't had too many outright directly "bad" experiences, Kanako herself has been nothing but good to me, i've only been harshly admonished once, early on, when in my excitement i directly went against something she asked (That was akin to "Stick with me until you understand better what you are doing, other Kami / Gods might not be as patient"), in the form of suddently being VERY cold and non receptive until i apologised, (Okina induced nightmares from fucking around), and later on when i got a "Pay attention to me too!" from Suwako, who had been mostly relegated to the background up to till then, which was easily rectified.
One day during a particularly intense "session" i neglected "purification" of both myself and the area, that is, both physical and spiritual purification of it, which is a necessity in nearly every type of practice for a reason, because you see, offerings and the like tend to generate a lot of energy, and just like leaving out food in the open attracts cockroaches, neglecting that type of spiritual hygiene attracts pests and unwanted smaller spirits, which make it highly unpleasant for both parties, in my case they tended to manifest as some disgusting intrusive thoughts that kept interrupting existing focus, "Now you see why it's important."
While some experiences were had with other entities, Kanako is always the LOUDEST of them all, and makes herself VERY obvious when she wants attention, it's hard to ignore her, while Suwako is far more subtle (Though she is really funny), but after gaining enough insight and experience, i've decided to try something new, and host a little "festival", and invited them to "play" And they did come, and they did play, and they PLAY HARD holy shit, wind really picking up outside, some insanely strong and draining mental imagery and projections, though the wildest part was attempting to meditate during all of this, only to a few short moments later feel like i was being grabbed and held down, my spine and legs locking up, something akin to fire shooting up from the base of my spine to around chest level and feeling like i just put a fork into an eletric socket, it was both painful and very draining, akin to trying to sprint to the top of floor of a building up the stairs, though after a few moments of it obviously going nowhere, i was released and left winded and very tired.
My experiences with other Kami were far more subtle, a mixture of not having nearly the same rapport, and not really having the right "channel" which comes with familarity.
A non touhou Kami that i dealt with was Inari Ōkami, which after some small offerings and prayer, and a request to "please help me fix my skill issue", which was answered later that day by a sudden relevation, (Turns out having a certain type of madness and grandiosity is critical to do anything worth doing and excel at it, because you just do it, and throw yourself into the meat grinder over and over and over and over and over until you finally achieve it, it is to be possessed in a way, yes, but it’s different, ambition and raw desire to want something hard enough no matter what)
The other 2hu Kamis have been Okina (Very subtle, and cold / aloof until i started really digging deep into her symbolism, and actually gave her altar some furnishing / doing offerings in a MUCH more proper way) Chimata (Mental impression, cute but feels "new", her niche seemed to be more the "innate" potential that is born from trade, ideas / skills / culture / concepts, though that was my perception and might be wrong) Keiki (Subtle, mental impression, clay as the unworked wood / Pu, the infinite potential within it, plucking things from the world of forms and giving them shape, rather intimidating)
But regardless, i hope these ramblings will be of use to someone.
