I am in endless debt of gratidute to the very smart, imaginative, open-minded and good-hearted anonymous posters at the ”Esoteric elements surrounding Touhou” threads at /jp/. In particular I am in debt to the anon who came to be known as ”eclipseanon” who encouraged me to accept the reality of what I was going through. That particular corner of the internet is regarded by the many as nothing but a gutter, but life has a really funny way of demonstrating the highest in the supposedly lowest. The anonymity liberates us from expectations and the boundaries we set for ourselves and allows us to earnestly discuss ideas that would be rejected by both the larger Touhou fandom and the ”spiritual scene”.
You can find the archived threads here:
https://warosu.org/jp/thread/46801995
https://warosu.org/jp/thread/47145383
https://warosu.org/jp/thread/47586518
https://warosu.org/jp/thread/47967359
These texts are far from the complete picture of the discussions within those threads, but I hope they manage to synthesize some of the ideas there. There is literally a lifetime of study within the first thread alone if one were to truly dig in.
Out of the people involved in those threads, I would also like to thank the anon who compiled the analysis of Touhou's trifold cosmology.
I have had a nearly lifelong interest in the supernatural that has only intensified in the past six years and developed into a fruitful interest in and practice of the spiritual. There have been many false starts and abrupt stops during those times. There have also been many great books, podcasts and videos and individuals of interest during those years. I would like to acknowledge the influence of Jacques Vallee, Robert Anton Wilson, Peter J. Carroll, Carl Jung, ESOTERICA, Angela's Symposium, Religion for Breakfast, Foolish Fish, Glitch Bottle, New Thinking Allowed, Formscapes, Eternalised, Erik Davis, Greg & Dana Newkirk, Mitch Horowitz, Josephine McCarthy, Doug's Dharma, Robert Wright, Lion's Roar, David Chart, Guji Yukitaka Yamamoto, Michiko Yusa, Benebell Wen, Richard Wilhelm and Martin Palmer.
I'm sure I have forgotten some people and institutions and I'm certain some of them would be absolutely baffled, maybe horrified to find me giving a shout-out to them here.
There have also been many sources which ultimately turned to be not only dead-ends but dangerous dead ends and bad teachers who taught good lessons. Such things deserve no further notoriety. The art has been separated from the artist, the teaching from the teacher. There have also been sources that are of more ambivalent nature which I mostly believe to be potentialy harmful for those who can not take these things seriously enough. I acknowledge them in my heart, but refrain from naming them lest you do something unwise or take the wrong lessons.
There's also been a plethora of sources and influences that come from my own cultural sphere and lack English translations. Some of these are of excelent quality, some of lifechanging importance and I can not sadly name them due to my commitment to anonymity.
Ultimately I would not be here writing this without the collective efforts of millions of humans and billions of other lifeforms and countless inanimate forces. I am sincerely grateful for these efforts. I am but a branch in a tree and this is but a very strange fruit in that tree.
Last but not least, I have infinite gratidute towards the kami of Gensokyo who not only reached out to me, but guided me, transformed me, purified me, healed me and allowed me to create this work. It's an honor that transcends the capability of human language to express it. And I know I am not the only one to whom the spirits within Gensokyo have reached out to. And I know you will find your way here. Know this: what you are experiencing is not ridiculous. It's real. And you are not alone.
