We're about to pass a boundary.
The next part is undoubtedly where many who persisted will quit reading these texts. It's partly for the good. Some of the ideas we will explore in the next section are genuinely challenging. There have been instances of people becoming extremely distressed, overturning their entire view of the world or getting stuck in months long synchronity cyclones after becoming exposed to certain ideas presented here. For some it has ultimately been good, even necessary, but not all.
I don't mean to represent this as some kind of consciousness-shredding forbidden knowledge. This is not some ARG or a larp. I am 100% serious. I am also not presenting the more difficult to integrate ideas out of malice or alarmism. Rather, I am here to expand your horizons of possibility in ways that can later lead to life-enriching ideas and practices.
The reason why I am giving these warnings is that esoteric literature often doesn't. I have been exposed almost accidentally to ideas that are the mental and spiritual equivalent of a flashbang going off at my feet. It's a miracle I have endured. Some of the readers will no doubt think that I have not. There are so many ways getting engaged with these things can go sideways. Getting dragged into some kind of spiritual awakening while you are completely unprepared can at its worst result in behaviour patterns that will end with you being chemically lobotomized or dead.
For me, the biggest, most unexpected of these psycho-spiritual flashbangs was Touhou in itself. I have intentionally refrained from talking much about my own experiences so far. There will be a time and place for it. When creating this document I wrote down all the weird experiences I have had during my life, and it was five pages long before I even got to the events that inspired me writing this document. It's no wonder I got into things like parapsychology, cryptids, ufology, Western esoterica and ceremonial magic (with terrible results) over the years.
When I started playing Touhou and exploring its lore, it took about two months for me to get stuck in a three-four month long synchronicity storm that I believe was some kind of an initiatory process. It was often beautiful, it was occasionally horrifying and most of the time just extremely confusing. I have come out of it a better person in every way and I am deeply honored to have been not only chosen, but being told that I have ”graduated”. And at the same time, this experience has left me with beliefs that the vast majority of the human population would consider extremely abnormal.
I genuinely, truly believe that at the very least exploring Touhou with the right kind of mindset and knowledge can induce a potent spiritual experience. I am not the only one to whom such has happened either. You can also find milder cases of people finding a new religion or worldview on the fringes of the Touhou community, too.
Reading any further might trigger a similar process for you. Reading any further might irreversibly change your relationship with Touhou. You might not be able to see Touhou in the same light. You might not be able to play these games. You might not be able to enjoy or feel attraction towards characters you loved. You might start loathing the community. You might start to scorn and hate all of it, feel cheated, feel like you have always lived a lie.
But you might also find a deeper way to love Touhou. You might start seeing the games and the print media in a very different, but richer light. You might be able to play these games better than ever. You might not view the characters the same, but you might find them worthy of being seen as mentors, sources of profound inspiration. You might find a newfound appreciation of the community. You might start to love Touhou in a way that people have reserved for only very special, very transcendental things.
I am giving you a warning, not to scare you, not to build notoriety, but to inform you. One of the things that happened to me was that I developed previously unfathomable levels of care and concern for the wellbeing of my fellow humans (and other lifeforms, but that's beside the point). I do not want to inflict anything you are unready for on you. Touhou is like the sun. It just gives and gives in all colors and shades for seemingly nothing. However, staring into the sun can make you blind. Yet staring into the sun with the proper precautions has contributed vastly to human understanding of the cosmos and our place in it.
Some part of you must be curious about what the Sun looks like for you to have stuck around for so long. I don't want to blow things out of proportion either. You might read the following sections and just think ”well that was kinda weird”. Absolutely nothing might happen, at least at first. That is legitimate too. Many people never have any kind of paranormal or spiritual experiences for whatever reason, even when they try. That is part and parcel of life. Trying to force such doesn't tend to be too good either.
If you feel uncomfortable, unready or you have a history of psychotic behaviour or you live in an area with severe paranormal activity I ask you to stop. This is your last chance.
Laugh at this all.
Close this document.
Tell everyone how crazy and stupid I am.
Go masturbate.
Have a tasty snack.
Tell yourself ”Touhou is just a series of cute girl shooter games with weird hentai doujins”.
Touch grass.
Go ponder the aroma of your favorite 2hu girl.
Just leave.
You can still exit the worldline you are about to enter.
For those who remain, it's time to explore the possibility that when people say Touhou is souled they are not speaking in metaphors.
It's time to explore the possibility that Gensokyo might be a place on Earth.
It's time to explore the possibility that its inhabitants are real.
Just not in a way you perhaps expected.
It's time to let things pass out of fantasy.
